Real life encounters III

A conversation I had with a driver at a bus station while waiting for my inter-city bus. This took place in May in Sudak, a city in the very Russo-phone Autonomous Republic of Crimea.

Driver: Hey, where are you going?

Me: To Yalta. But I already bought a ticket.

He begins to walk away, but I was bored and curious how much he wanted for a ride to Yalta, about 60 miles away.

Me: But how much to Yalta? I’d just like to know.

Driver: To Yalta? …$80.

I begin to laugh and walk away with a $5 bus ticket to Yalta in my pocket. As I do, he asks me where I’m from.

Me: Where do you think I’m from?

Driver: I don’t know, really. The Netherlands?

Me: No.

Driver: Then where?

Me: I’m from the USA.

Driver: America? What do you think of our land here? Do you like it?

Me: Of course, it’s very beautiful. The mountains and the sea…

Driver: Why are you here? Tourism?

Me: No, I’m a volunteer. I live in Lutsk. I teach English there.

Driver: A volunteer? Where do you teach?

Me: (realizing he probably doesn’t know where Lutsk is) At a university in Lutsk. It’s in western Ukraine, near the border with Poland and Belarus.

Driver: Oh, in Ukraine. There’s nothing there! Only trees and susliki!

Me: (not knowing the word suslik means “gopher”) Susliki?

Driver: Yeah, you know, susliki. (he puts his index and middle fingers to his mouth like giant rodent incisors and I get the point; his friends laugh)

Me: Oh, yeah. Well, there are many people there, too…

Driver: Yes, but the are weak. We are strong here because of the power from the land!

Me: Power from the land?

Driver: Yes, from the mountains! (he gestures toward a nearby mountain) And from the sea! (he gestures toward the sea)

Me: But have you ever been to Lutsk?

Driver: No, that’s Ukraine.

Me: Well where are we now?

Driver: We’re in Crimea!

Me: And you’ve never been to any part of Ukraine, not even Kyiv?

Driver: Nope, never.

A quite unbelievable statement, but I quickly got the feeling much of this conversation was in jest, anyway. I told him I had to catch the bus and he wished me well before returning to giggling his friends, who thought much of what he said was quite funny. I often tell this story to people in western Ukraine and they generally laugh at it. Especially the part about susliki.